Background: A couple of months ago my friend Julie received a super cool email...what made this email so special, you ask? It was was written by her to herself...a year before. She found a website called "FutureMe.org" and you can write yourself a letter and choose when you would like to receive it... I planned on writing one for a year later (like Jules did), but I was in a major funk so I decided to write it for a month and a half into the future...that future arriving today. I did it to show myself how fast things change and to remind myself that only a month ago I was happy, but wasn't extremely happy, and my heart just wasn't really here...so I made a checklist of things "I no doubt have done at this point" and basically failed on all accounts. Haha.
The opening paragraph was as follows:
Wowzers! Heyyyyyy girl Heyyyyy! Please tell me you at least have pictures up in your room? If not...seriously Audrey. Get ON the BALL! AND I hope your Spanish has improved a ton..if not...I mean just go home. What are you doing there again?
First of all...don't judge me...haha I was supposed to read it privately not share it with the world wide web, buttttt, you live you learn. These words struck home to me very very much. Mostly because I don't have pictures up in my room (thanks sister.............) and my Spanish really hasn't improved...I mean it has in the aspect of confidence...I am obviously using it 99% more than I was in the US, but I am not working on any aspects of grammar or anything.. so that's a problem...The words just keep replaying in my head: "What are you doing there again?" Can we say harsh? You would think writing to yourself would be a more pleasant experience, but at least this email was EXACTLY what I needed to confront everything going on in my head...a wake up call per se... What am I doing here? Some days I ask myself this and just start counting the days until I get home for Christmas...but today when I read these words, for the first time I didn't even have the slightest desire to pack my bag and travel or go home... I wanted to do the opposite...I want to enjoy Sevilla and breathe in every aspect of this unique opportunity given to me. I am so sick of throwing a pity party for myself while disguising it as a real party...I know that doesn't make sense, but I am too proud to admit I am not happy here so I just pretend I am and try to make myself make the best of it...Don't get me wrong, I love my job and this is an incredible experience, but gah. I miss my girlfriends...I miss just walking over to Preston Place to watch the latest tv shows, I miss snuggling up with Aimee to watch Dirty Dancing, I miss Gallettes, I MISS ALABAMA FOOTBALL! I miss lunch at Pi Phi, I miss all my kiddos, I miss Benjamin just stopping by, ESPECIALLY when I hate boys and let him remind me there are a few good ones left, I miss lunch at Granny's and Daddy's "special" pancakes, I miss Oxford, AL and watching my boredom turn into quality time with my mommy, I wish I could pick up and go to Applebee's for Happy Hour with Britt, Tay, Anna & Heather (hahahahaha)...Are you kidding, my sister is PLANNING her ONLY wedding without her MOH (..which I am reminded of daily), and one of the friendships I cherish the most [childhood friends, inseparable high schoolers, transitioned to college together, life-long friends]...Taylor Britt is also planning her wedding and I don't even get to attend a tea?! ...I miss so so so many things, but I realize more everyday that that is completely normal...I just graduated college...my life is already in transition...and I would be missing these things even if I was in Atlanta...everyone misses those things. It's part of growing up, I just happen to be super far away in the process.
So starting today I am asking myself, "What are you doing there again?" every single day and hopefully everyday I will have a new wonderful answer to tell. Today I am going to work on my Spanish and help these precious children sitting across from me fall in love with the english language.
Soooo it's time for you to ask yourself... What are you doing there again? ...I hope your answer is worthwhile and you are happy where you are every single day...if not...it's never
to late to change... You only live once, and I mean what are you doing there anyways? :)
P.S. Forgot to mention that they gave me a picture at school today of all the teachers at Pedroso that we took on School Picture Day...I guess that kind of answers both of the questions, huh? And people say God doesn't have a sense of humor ;)
Besos!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!! You don't look a day over 35.
CONGRATULATIONS KATY!! Can't wait to meet baby Wyatt at Christmas!
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